Upon Her Play Being Returned to Her, Stained with Claret

Welcome, dear wanderer, once more!
   Thrice welcome to thy native cell!
Within this peaceful humble door
   Let thou and I contented dwell!

But say, O whither hast thou ranged?
   Why dost thou blush a crimson hue?
Thy fair complexion's greatly changed:
   Why, I can scarce believe 'tis you.

Then tell, my son, O tell me, where
   Didst thou contract this sottish dye?
You kept ill company, I fear,
When distant from your parent's eye.

Was it for this, O graceless child!
   Was it for this, you learned to spell?
Thy face and credit both are spoiled:
   Go drown thyself in yonder well.

I wonder how thy time was spent:
   No news (alas!) hadst thou to bring.
Has thou not climed the Monument?
   Nor seen the lions, nor the king?*

But now I'll keep you here secure,
  No more you view the smoky sky:
The court was never made (I'm sure)
   For idiots, like thee and I.

*Standard sights in London.
**An unsophisticated person; a fool; a person without learning; a layman; one not professionally learned or skilled; also, a private (as opposed to a public) person; a person of weak intellect maintained to afford amusement to others; a household or court fool; a professional fool or jester.

(Definitions from OED Online)