Seeking Spirituality
WHAT IS SPIRITUALITY?
Many people reach a point in their lives when they realize that even though they have been striving to succeed in life and have achieved some success, they still aren’t happy. They sense that something is missing. Others have experienced disappointment, loss, and failure and seek a renewed sense of purpose. Even if they had religious training as children and may currently be involved in a church or synagogue, they feel empty or depressed, as if they are living without a purpose.
Spirituality is not necessarily a religious concept. It is that part of life or existence that is not physical or material. According to the authors listed at the end of this handout, the following are some basic concepts of viewing life from a spiritual perspective:
- Spirituality is a way of experiencing things without relying on the five senses (seeing, hearing, smelling, touching, and tasting). In Real Magic, author Wayne Dyer says that spiritual people understand the world through intuition, visions, and dreams in addition to their senses. Non-spiritual people, in contrast, understand the world through concrete things such as people and objects.
- According to Deepak Chopra in The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, "Our spiritual essence . . .is the field of all possibilities and infinite creativity" and that one’s spirit is one’s true self.
- Spiritual people feel connected to the rest of the universe. They know that guidance and solutions are available at any time as long as one is open to them. Some people access this guidance through prayer; others meditate and pay attention to their feelings.
- The power of a spiritual person comes from inside. Spiritual people are not concerned with being more powerful than those around them or with winning or achieving the most. They seek to empower themselves and those around them. Chopra says that the power of the spirit, or real power, has nothing to do with needing to control others. Power based on such things as money and titles is temporary, while self-power is everlasting. Harold Kushner writes in When All You’ve Ever Wanted Isn’t Enough, "There can be winners only if there are losers. Everyone who strives to be a winner finds that he has to set himself against the rest. He rises as they fall, and that outlook has its consequences."
" Being in a position to exercise power over other people . . . may be gratifying for a little while, but never in the long run. Ultimately it leaves you lonely. . . . Who wants people to be afraid of him, to obey him sullenly and grudgingly rather than freely and out of love?"
--Harold Kushner, When All You’ve Ever Wanted Isn’t Enough (p. 54)
- Spiritual people feel connected to others and look for ways to experience and honor that connection. Spiritual people see themselves in other people and are not interested in dominating or controlling others. Kushner says that the pursuit of power separates people from one another and that "love can be generated only between people who see themselves as equals."
- Spiritual people know that things are not always logical and linear. According to Dyer, the spiritualist accepts that things do not always make sense and are sometimes beyond his/her control. He/she is willing to give up control and can accept not understanding why things are as they are. In a similar vein, Chopra advises learning to accept that each moment is as it should be.
- Living a life that matters is the highest value of spiritual people. Integrity and peace are more important than recognition and wealth.
- Spiritual people feel successful when they identify their life purpose. They are not concerned with being rewarded or recognized for their efforts, and they seek to serve others.
- Meditation is an important part of life. Regular meditation enables one to sit quietly and creates peace of mind. Rather than looking for ways to work harder, one seeks answers by looking quietly within.
- Spiritual people rely on gut feelings and intuition. They trust their gut reactions to people and things and listen to their inner voice.
- Spiritual people nurture their spirits, focusing on the positive forces in life and working for good and constructive causes. Rather than fighting against or hating other people or groups, they focus on making positive things real.
- Because spiritual people believe that life is ongoing and that we are all related, they respect every form of life and take their responsibility seriously.
- Spiritual people are forgiving when others disrespect them or treat them with cruelty. Even though it is difficult to forgive, they ask for guidance and believe that they are capable of giving up resentment toward others.
- The spiritual person expects the unexpected, even though it makes no rational sense. Chopra says that the willingness to accept uncertainty results in unexpected, spontaneous, and creative solutions to problems.
WHY IS SPIRITUALITY IMPORTANT?
When faced with the possibility of imminent death, most people realize that paying attention to the spiritual side of life is a good idea. If you imagine for a moment that your life will end in the coming week, what do you think you would do? What would be most important to you? Most people say that they would spend time with the people they love. They would enjoy the simple things of life and appreciate the world’s natural beauty. Nourishing these things is a way of getting in touch with the spirit. Instead of waiting until you have only a short time left to enjoy the simple things of life, you can develop your spiritual life and enjoy these things now, for all the years you have left.
HOW CAN I DEVELOP SPIRITUALITY?
You don’t have to become religious to be more spiritual. You can do any of the following things. There is no one right way to become spiritual; see what feels right to you and do more of that.
"I will ask myself daily, ‘How can I serve?’ and ‘How can I help?’ The answers to these questions will allow me to help and serve my fellow human beings with love."
--Deepak Chopra, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success (p. 103)
Think about the purpose of your life. Why do you think you are here? Write down your life purpose and review it regularly. Are your lifestyle and your behavior in accordance with your life’s purpose? What needs to change?
Identify your spiritual beliefs and review them regularly. Think about how they translate to everyday living. Ask yourself at the end of each day whether your actions followed those beliefs.
Look for others who value spirituality. Join their groups and get to know them.
Look for ways to contribute to others. Here are some ideas:
- Be a good example for others.
- Wish good things for others.
- Volunteer to help others.
- Do little helpful things for others without being asked.
- Give to others. (Chopra advises giving a gift to everyone you come upon. This can be something as simple as a compliment.)
- Accept the gifts of others.
Pay attention to the choices you make. Chopra suggests that you also think about the consequences to you and those around you of each choice, looking within for guidance in doing what’s best.
Look for the lessons. Be willing to look at the areas in your life that don’t feel right to you— where you’re unhappy, stuck, or out of integrity. Open yourself to the solutions to these problem areas and be willing to face them. Ask for help and be willing to learn the lesson that’s presented to you.
Look for ways to develop your spirituality. Learn to meditate, spend time in natural surroundings, or record your thoughts in a journal. Chopra advises learning to be silent and nonjudgmental.
WHERE CAN I GO FOR MORE INFORMATION?
Chopra, Deepak. The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: A Practical Guide to the Fulfillment of Your Dreams. San Rafael, CA: Amber-Allen Publishing, 1995.
Dalai Lama and Cutler, Howard. The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living. New York: Riverhead Books, 1998.
Dyer, Wayne. Real Magic. New York: William Morrow, 1992.
Fields, Rick, Taylor, Peggy, and Weyler, Rex. Chop Wood, Carry Water: A Guide to Finding Spiritual Fulfillment in Daily Life. New York: Jeremy Tarcher, 1985.
Kelley, Sarano. The Game: Win Your Life in 90 Days. San Diego: Jodere Group, 2001.
Kushner, Harold. When All You’ve Ever Wanted Isn’t Enough: The Search for a Life That Matters. New York: Pocket Books, 1986.
Kushner, Harold. Living a Life That Matters: Resolving the Conflict between Conscience and Success. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 2001.