Living A Responsible Life
WHAT IS A RESPONSIBLE LIFE?
Responsible behavior is learned during childhood and adolescence. It results from observing role models and developing a group of values, beliefs, and behaviors that guide a person every day of his/her life. A person who lives responsibly engages in the following kinds of behavior:
- Showing respect and compassion for oneself and others
- Telling the truth to oneself and others
- Acting courageously and standing up for one’s beliefs
- Exercising self-control
WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES OF IRRESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOR?
People who have problems with responsibility have the following kinds of difficulties in their lives:
- They are often involved in legal trouble.
- They have been arrested and jailed.
- They are on probation or parole.
- They engage in substance abuse and illegal behavior.
- They seek treatment only when the court system orders them to.
- They blame others for their troubles.
- They often experience emotional instability and relationship problems.
- They have a hard time staying employed.
HOW CAN I DEVELOP MORE RESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOR?
- Advising a person to behave responsibly is not very useful because it is not specific. Let’s take a look at the behaviors that add up to a responsible life and see what it really means.
- Show Respect and Compassion for Others Respecting others means showing that you care about their welfare. It includes being polite, listening, and making an effort to see a situation from another’s point of view. It also involves treating all people with fairness, regardless of whether we share their beliefs. Showing respect means being open and not having preconceived ideas about who others are.
- People who respect others are interested in learning about people from other places and times. They want to get to know people by talking with them and studying them. Learning about others helps one see other points of view, as well as become more compassionate.
- Show Respect and Compassion for Yourself When you respect yourself, you expect yourself to behave with dignity and integrity and are not satisfied with anything less. You don’t allow yourself to engage in behavior that is unworthy of the respect of others. You value yourself for who you are, and your self-esteem is not based on money or social rank. You take good care of your body and your health and avoid unsafe situations. You don’t allow others to treat you with disrespect, and you learn ways to respond to mistreatment with poise. You do your best in every situation, accepting that sometimes you will not win or succeed.
- Tell the Truth People who are honest never mislead others or stretch the truth. Being honest means seeking the truth in situations so that one makes good decisions. Honesty is based on knowing the difference between opinion, hearsay, and fact. Also, honesty is admitting when one is wrong or mistaken and correcting errors and misleading statements. Telling the truth and not misleading others are functions of self-respect.
"Telling the truth and avoiding misleading is a function of self-respect."
- Act Courageously and Stand Up for Your Beliefs Being courageous means taking a stand for what you believe is right. It means recognizing the right thing to do and doing it, even if it is difficult or scary. Having courage means not giving in to fear or to the temptation to act carelessly.
- Exercise Self-Control Responsible people see their lives in the long term. While it may be tempting to engage in risky or inappropriate behavior for fun or instant gratification, responsible people are committed to staying in control of their emotions and actions. They are aware of the consequences of their behavior and choose to avoid acting in ways that are impulsive and risky.
WHERE CAN I GO FOR MORE INFORMATION?
Goleman, Daniel. Emotional Intelligence. New York: Bantam, 1995.
McGraw, Phillip. Life Strategies. New York: Hyperion, 1999.
Ruiz, Don Miguel. The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom. San Rafael, CA: Amber-Allen Publishing, 1997.