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Dealing With Relapses During Recovery from Chemical Dependency
WHAT IS A RELAPSE?
A relapse is when a person who has successfully stopped engaging in an addictive behavior gives up his/her controlled behavior and begins engaging in the old behavior. A relapse can happen after a person has stopped any kind of addictive behavior, including smoking, drinking, and overeating.
WHAT CAUSES A RELAPSE?
About half of all relapses occur in high-risk situations in which the patient experiences negative emotions such as anger, depression, and boredom. These high risk situations can be stressful, such as a conflict or argument with another person or a family health crisis.
Some people relapse in situations in which they feel social pressure. For example, when you are in recovery, being at a restaurant or a party with people who are drinking alcohol can be very dangerous and may result in a relapse. Others encouraging you to join them in having a drink is obviously risky.
Some people who relapse are fine in social situations but have the most difficult time when they are alone. It is important for people in recovery to identify the times when they might lose control and be vulnerable to relapse. Such difficult times differ for each person and can happen months or years after one has begun the recovery process.
RISKY BEHAVIOR
- Being overly confident
- Testing oneself
- Blaming oneself for the problems the addiction has caused
- Substituting a new addiction for the old one
- Not doing the work
WHAT BEHAVIOR LEADS TO A RELAPSE?
- People who experience a relapse during the recovery process may make one or more of the following mistakes:
- Being overly confident. For example, a person in recovery may say proudly, "I’m not even tempted to drink—I don’t think I’ll ever drink again."
- Testing oneself. A person in recovery may go to a party and be around people who are drinking, thinking that it proves that he/she is cured.
- Blaming oneself for the problems the addiction has caused. When people in recovery indulge in guilt feelings and self-deprecation for the problems they have made for themselves, the resulting feelings of hopelessness are the perfect setup for a relapse.
- Substituting a new addiction for the old one. For example, an alcoholic may begin to eat compulsively. The new addiction creates new problems, and the underlying causes of the addictive behavior are not addressed.
- Not doing the work. Many people who experience relapse think that simply abstaining from the problem behavior or just attending 12- step meetings is all they need to do to recover. Successful recovery requires that one learn more about oneself, learn to ask others for help, and learn to develop self-help, relationship, work, and other skills.
HOW CAN A RECOVERING PERSON PREVENT A RELAPSE?
The following steps can help a recovering person keep from relapsing during the recovery process:
- Attend a self-help group such as Alcoholics Anonymous. These groups provide support and are structured to teach you what you need to know to get and stay on track. Work the 12 steps with a sponsor and be committed to the process.
- Stay away from people and situations that represent temptation.
- Ask a trusted friend to help you stay away from tempting situations, to challenge you when you are overly confident, to support your new behaviors, to encourage you to say "no", and to come quickly to your rescue when you falter.
- Learn skills that will help you cope with high risk situations. Think about what you could say and do when faced with temptation.
- Seek the advice of others who are handling or have handled recovery successfully. Observe their behavior.
- Ask a friend to role-play high-risk situations with you. Repeat these activities until you think you can handle high-risk situations.
- Anticipate the times that will present you with risks. Develop some guidelines that will help you navigate these dangerous times.
- Prepare in advance for a time when you will give in to temptation. Think about how you will avoid having it become a full relapse. Learn skills that will help you cope with high-risk situations. Think about what you could say and do when faced with temptation.
- Identify the needs that have driven the addictive behavior in the past. Learn constructive ways to meet those needs.
- Look for ways to maximize the joy you get from your life. A satisfying life in recovery is more likely if you experience both immediate pleasures and long-term, meaningful goals.
- Change many aspects of your lifestyle so that your recovery is successful. Many addicts develop rituals and habits that are associated with ordinary tasks, such as coming home from work, preparing dinner, or watching the nightly news.
- Know that a relapse can happen for many reasons. An acronym to remember is HALT: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. To avoid relapse, avoid getting into a situation where you experience any one of these four feelings. People in recovery say that these four feelings most often lead them to give in to temptation.
- "You need to change the people and places that you associate with your addiction if you hope to avoid relapse."
WHAT TO DO IF YOU HAVE A RELAPSE
- If you give in to temptation, admit that you have made a mistake. Limit the slip behavior, leave the situation (bar, party, etc.), and call your sponsor or a member of your support system right away to talk about what happened.
- Some who are in successful recovery carry a card for situations in which they might give in to temptation. The card might say something like this:
- "Slips can happen. It is normal to feel guilty. Do not continue the dangerous behavior. One slip does not mean that your recovery is a failure."
- Learn from the relapse. Identify your weak points and work on overcoming them.
- Remind yourself of why you are giving up the addictive behavior. Recommit yourself.
- Do something to make up for the relapse— something positive for yourself or for another person. You’ll feel better.
- After the situation has passed and you feel calm again, practice handling the high-risk situation with your sponsor or a supportive friend.
- Visualize handling high-risk situations successfully in the future.
WHERE CAN I GO FOR MORE INFORMATION?
- About (alcoholism.about.com).
- Alcoholics Anonymous (alcoholics-anonymous.org).
- National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University (casacolumbia.org).
- National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence (ncadd.org).
- National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (niaaa.nih.gov).
- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (health.org).
Jay, Jeff and Jay, Debra Erickson. Love First: A New Approach to Intervention for Alcoholism and Drug Addiction. Center City, MN: Hazelden, 2000.
Johnson, Vernon. Intervention: How to Help Someone Who Doesn’t Want Help: A Step-by-Step Guide for Families of Chemically Dependent Persons. Washington, DC: The Johnson Institute, 1989.
West, James, and Ford, Betty. The Betty Ford Center Book of Answers: Help for Those Struggling with Substance Abuse and for the People Who Love Them. New York: Pocket Books,1997.